Kids In Care Longing For A Normal Childhood

Written by FrameWorks Program Director, Rachel Kinder

Originally posted in Charleston Gazette. To view that article, click here.

FrameWorks Program Director, Rachel Kinder

Attending a sleepover at a friend’s house, participating in a school field trip, learning to drive; these are all rites of passage experienced by children and teens every day. They are also activities that at various times have not been permitted for children in foster care.

For decades, concerns of safety and liability, whether valid or not, have in the past dominated the practices and policy of foster care. Protection and safety of children in care and of foster families, often led to restrictive polices and practices as well as a culture of “better safe than sorry.”  Failure to understand the implications of these practices also made it easier for workers to err on the side of caution when writing policy or making decisions.

2014 was the year we started to see meaningful change across systems, with the passage of the Preventing Sex Trafficking and Strengthening Families Act, which required states to adopt “reasonable and prudent parenting standards” for children and teens in foster care. Prudent parenting essentially means that foster parents and caregivers of kids in care can use their own sound judgement when determining which activities a child in foster care may participate in.  While implementation of these standards across the country requires shifts in state policy, practice and culture, this is a positive move in the direction of ensuring that children in care experience developmentally appropriate activities on par with their peers.

Why is foster care policy addressed in a sex trafficking law? Because new experiences, especially those for teens, promote healthy development. Life skills are developed through activities that center around independence and sound decision making. Children and teens who are unable to develop and exercise these skills are more at risk for sex trafficking and other negative outcomes as they near adulthood.

Hoe do we balance the safety of children and protection of foster parents against having the least amount of impact on normal childhood experiences? It is a careful balance of policy, certifying and training good foster parents and considering the individual factors affecting each child. West Virginia has policy on prudent parenting, stating that “The Bureau for Children and Families (BCF) shall make efforts to normalize the lives of children in their custody and to empower a caregiver to approve or  disapprove a child's participation in activities based on the caregiver's own assessment using a reasonable and prudent parent standard, without prior approval of Child and Family Services.”

Foster parents receive training on which activities fall under prudent parenting but typical activities may include:  visiting a friend’s house, going on a date, participating in extra-curricular activities, using social media, attending overnight camp, getting their ears pierced and many other activities that parents make decisions about on a daily basis.  Just as with parenting their biological children, foster parents need to take into consideration the child’s age, maturity, developmental abilities and individual interests. They will also consider any restrictions particular to a child’s individual case. And as with any decisions made by parents, they must weigh the value of the activity against possible risks and take measures to prevent harm.  For instance, most parents require a bike helmet for a child learning to ride a bike, but generally allow the activity despite potential risk of injury.  This is the standard that we hope foster parents can apply to children in their home through prudent parenting decisions.

The term prudent parenting is sometimes used interchangeably with the term normalcy, as the intention is to provide children and teens with “normal” childhood experiences as compared to their peers. These experiences equip children with life skills and predict better outcomes as adults but also provide them with the joy and fun of childhood. Childhoods are not paused when children enter care and all children deserve to experience both everyday activities and the more significant rites of passage.  As parents, we see growth, learning and happiness when our children engage in new experiences. Children and teens in foster care deserve to experience the same. 

For information on supporting normalcy activities for children in foster care OR for information on foster care or adoption, visit www.missionwv.org/request-information, email fosteradopt@missionwv.org or call 304-512-0555