Understanding Consent

Written by Becky White, Marketing Director: THINK Program

The legal definitions of consent may vary by location and circumstance; however, the general concept is always the same. Consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. Consent should be clearly defined and communicated. A verbal expression of consent (approval) can help both you and your partner to understand and respect each other’s boundaries.

Consent cannot be given by individuals who are underage, intoxicated or under the influence of drugs, alcohol, sleep, or unconsciousness. If someone agrees to an activity under the pressure of intimidation or threat, that does not qualify as consent because it was not given freely. You cannot freely give consent in unequal power dynamics either (engaging in sexual activity with an employee or student, etc.).

Red flags that indicate your partner isn’t respecting consent include:

• Pressuring or guilting you into doing things you may not want to.

• Suggesting that you “owe” them something (material items, sexual acts, etc.) either because you’re dating or because they claim to have done something for you.

• Reacting negatively with sadness, anger, or resentment if you don’t consent to something or don’t do so immediately.

• Ignoring your indications (verbal and non-verbal) that show you don’t consent.

Remember that it’s essential to get consent every time, even if you’ve done something before or you’re in a committed relationship. A person can decide to stop an activity at any time, even if they previously agreed to it.