How to Support Your LGBTQ+ teen 

Written by Brennan Davis, THINK Educator 

 
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The Importance: 

Recently, after reading The Trevor Project’s National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health 2020, I was left feeling disheartened and wondering how we can better support our LGBTQ youth.  The National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health 2020 surveyed over 40,000youth ages 13-24 across the United States and is the largest survey of LGBTQ youth mental health ever conducted.  The study showed that 40% of respondents seriously considered attempting suicide in the past twelve months, with more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth having seriously considering this as an option (The Trevor Project, 2020).  Additionally, 48% of LGBTQ youth reported engaging in self-harm in the past twelve months, including over 60% of transgender and nonbinary youth. 

Feeling supported is vital; only13% of youth who reported high levels of support from family, friends, or another special person reported attempting suicide in the past year compared to 22% among those with lower levels of support (The Trevor Project National Survey, 2020).  The Center for Disease Control in their article Parents’ Influence on the Health of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Teens: What Parents and Families Should Know (2013) notes that compared to heterosexual youth, LGB youth experience higher levels of bullying, physical violence, and rejection.  The CDC (2013) states that LGB teens experience better health outcomes when their parents support their sexual orientation in positive and affirming ways.  Studies have shown that youth whose families are supportive and accepting exhibit higher self-esteem and resilience, and lower risk of depression, hopelessness, and substance abuse.  According to the 2017 Human Rights Campaign Report, when LGBTQ teens were asked to describe the most important problem facing their lives right now, the youth identified non-accepting families as the number one issue (Pratt-Kielley, 2020).  The following are several ways that parents and guardians can help support their LGBTQ youth and to hopefully create a barrier between their youth and adverse mental health outcomes.  

Educate Yourself:  

Reaching out for resources and educating oneself can be a great way for guardians to deepen their own understanding of LGBTQ youth.  Pflag, and organization supporting LGBTQ+ individuals, their families, and allies, recommends that parents/guardians familiarize themselves with language that is utilized to describe gender identity and sexual orientation (Owen, 2017).  Pflag notes that educating oneself is a great way to prepare to have challenging conversations with your youth.  A glossary of terms that may help with this can be found at https://pflag.org/glossary (Owen, 2017). 

Advocate for Your Child: 

An additional way parents and guardians can support their LGBTQ youth is to advocate for their children both inside and outside of their home.  This can include advocating for policy change or advocating for them to get the physical or mental health care they need.  The Trevor Project specifically addresses the need for youth to get professional support, if desired. The Trevor Project National Survey (2020) notes that 46% of LGBTQ youth report that they wanted psychological or emotional counseling from a mental health professional but were unable to receive it in the past 12 months.  Of the respondents, over 40% of LGBTQ youth reported they were unable to receive care due to concerns with parental permission.  When looking to connect your youth with a mental health professional, seek those who are experienced in working with LGBTQ youth.  The Trevor Project found that nearly half of transgender and nonbinary youth didn’t receive wanted mental health care due to concerns related to LGBTQ competence of providers (The Trevor Project, 2020). Advocating for your child can go beyond helping them find professional support; guardians can advocate for policy change that will benefit their child.  These policies could be at a school level or they could be a government level.  

Be a Source of Affirmation and Acceptance:  

An important way to support your LGBTQ youth is to affirm your child’s identity.  The Trevor Project notes that affirming gender identity among transgender and nonbinary youth is consistently associated with lower suicide rates.  Only 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth reported having their pronouns respected by all or most of the people in their lives, including less than 1 in 10 among those who primarily identified as nonbinary (The Trevor Project, 2020). The Trevor Project National Survey (2020) states that transgender and nonbinary youth who report having their pronouns respected by all or most of the people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those who did not have their pronouns respected.  Not only is it important to affirm your child’s identity through correct pronoun usage but also access to affirming clothing. Transgender and nonbinary youth with access to binders, shapewear, and gender-affirming clothing reported lower rates of attempting suicide in the past year compared to transgender and nonbinary youth without access.  Healthychildren.org notes that it is important for guardians to accept children for who they are.  Be intentional about utilizing empathy even if there are disagreements (American Academy for Pediatrics, 2018).  

Create and Connect Youth to Safe Spaces: 

A simple way to create a safe space is by becoming an active listener. Be intentional about responding with empathy. You can create a safe space at home with small or large changes.  One small way is to be intentional about speaking positively about an LGBTQ person you know, reflecting aloud about gender or sexuality issues in the news, or sharing new knowledge gained about gender or sexual diversity (Owen, 2017).  Another aspect of creating a safe space is making it clear that there is no tolerance for slurs/jokes based on gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation (American Academy for Pediatrics, 2018).  Support the finding of LGBTQ affirming spaces. American \7/Academy for Pediatrics (2018) notes that guardians can be intentional about celebrating diversity in all forms.  This can include connecting youth to a variety of books, movies, and resources that include positive representation of LGBTQ individuals (American Academy for Pediatrics, 2018). LGBTQ youth find themselves having to prove their value; 6 out of 10 LGBTQ youth said that someone has attempted to convince them to change their sexual orientation or gender identity. Knowing this information puts more value on LGBTQ-affirming spaces.  The Trevor Project National Survey (2020) found that 78% of LGBTQ youth report having access to at least one in-person LGBTQ-affirming space.  LGBTQ-affirming spaces can be a protective barrier for LGBTQ youth.  The Trevor Project’s research also found that 12% of those who reported at least one in-person LGBTQ-affirming space attempted suicide in the past year when compared to 20% of LGBTQ youth without an in-person affirming space. Currently, during Covid-19, participating in affirming spaces can be extremely difficult.  Mission West Virginia has partnered with Rainbow Pride of West Virginia to create a virtual online support group called Rainbow Pride Youth of WV which could be a positive resource for LGBTQ youth during this time.  Connecting youth to LGBTQ affirming spaces, organizations, and resources can help remind your child that they are not alone (American Academy for Pediatrics, 2018). 

Reference 

Rebecca White